How To Build Your Confidence

Everybody would love to be more confident in their lives. I would love to walk around looking and feeling like a confident bad-ass woman, and so I did some digging and a little bit of introspection to ask the question – how can I build my confidence?

  1. Wrap the stone as if it were a diamond.

I noticed that the one thing that always made me feel so much better after a really rough day was a good pamper session. I love to put a face mask on and paint my nails and use really decadent body butter. So I tried to implement a daily version of my feel-good pamper sessions. I gave some thought into my outfits and I put a little more effort into finding the right hairstyle for me, I searched for makeup that would work with my limited time availability and I enhanced what good features I already had. I walked a little taller and looked people in the eye. I felt like I actually may look like an adult who knows what they’re doing, on the outside at least.

When I invest time into my appearance, I cultivate the mind-set that I am worth investing in.

  1. Build a strong scaffolding to support your confidence.

I know a girl who is just so confident it is almost infectious. She is always travelling to some or other exotic location, she is studying something really eyebrow raising and she is the nicest person. So I followed her lead and decided to fill my life with a few more things. I decided to take up yoga, to go to church, to start blogging, to say yes to more invitations. I chose to do more things that contributed positively to the person that I am. Slowly but surely I began building a stronger scaffolding to hold my confidence up nice and sturdy. I felt more confident speaking to new people because now I actually had stuff to talk about.

  1. Be kind to yourself.

You are basically a plant. You need food and water and sunlight and you’re sorted. However, have you researched what happens to a plant if you continuously talk down to it? It shrivels up slowly into a small pile of green mush. You need to be kind to yourself and take each and every opportunity in each and every aspect to ensure that you are. Stop blaming yourself for your actions. Stop internally shouting at yourself for feeling the way that you do. Don’t bully your reflection when you look in the mirror. You will be so surprised how you flourish when you put energy into being kind toward yourself. We are often our own biggest bullies.

Naturally everyone has their own demons that they need to work through and face on their own. My past has made me who I am and unfortunately certain things in my past have caused some baggage that I am still working through. Building true inner confidence is an emotional journey instead of a logical one, as Matthew Hussey said, if people only utilized their logic then putting “smoking may lead to death” would stop people from smoking, but it doesn’t. Logic just doesn’t work for certain things and unfortunately it just won’t cut it for building your confidence.


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